Waiting is Hard

Waiting is hard. It strikes at my pride and impatience, the desire to have what I want and when I want it, even if it’s not God’s desire or timing.

As I spend the next 40 days struggling to wait upon the Lord for answers, even as I work, rest, and maybe even play, I pray that I would grow in selfless humility and patience, in order to graciously and wholeheartedly embrace God’s good and perfect will. But isn’t that what I am always suppose to do?

That is what I hope for and that is why I am still waiting; really, to be more conformed to the image and likeness of God’s Son, which doesn’t happen so easily. Pray for me that I may wait very well.

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Wrestling with Self

As I find myself wrestling with both God and man, I find that the largest struggle is with myself.  But this would make sense given that the key to victory is found in self-denial, whether towards God or my fellow man.  Not that I have Kingdom fellowship with every man, but the virtues of the Kingdom apply even when wrestling with the ungodly.  Since Jesus said, “I have overcome the world”, I have to consider how He accomplished this.  Victory could not have come about through earthly wisdom or power, but reliance upon who and what comes from above in relation to any opponent.

So, I find myself once again yearning for the ability to deny myself: in order to hear, trust, and obey God, bear what burdens God wants me to bear, fear not what God says not to fear, care for who and what God says to care, act and react as God and not man would expect or desire me to, and tear off what earthly soiled clothing remains upon me so as not to be so easily pulled down to the ground by any opposition, especially my self.

I pray Lord, for less of me and more of you, for it is in you that God and man has become One, and through you that the wrestling match is won. I struggle to see your face, to know my place, to receive and believe in your grace, and follow in the way of your Son.

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Things Above

Last Friday, as I closely observed the dark stormy breaking waves and heavy rain-filled winds of Long Island Sound heading in towards the land, I was struck by the visual and associated perception of the dark powers and unrelenting earthly forces of evil at work in the world today that are both perplexing and overwhelming, and which is all most people can usually see because it consumes our natural vision.

Meanwhile overhead, when I looked up to the sky, I was surprised by the large movement of wind-blown lighter clouds heading in the exact opposite direction, seemingly revealing something else going on in the heavenly realm  that God was directing, but unbeknownst to the peoples and forces below who would be very surprised when its fulfillment timely appeared in the earth.  A small window-like opening in a wall of distance clouds revealed the presence of the sun and another simultaneous reality.

I was mesmerized, encouraged, thirsty to perceive what God was planning, wanting to know and even be part of it, trusting in His sovereignty and good purpose, even His past given victory. I was grateful for the perception of One greater with a greater plan and power than the one below, and was reminded that I should always seek the things above.

Later on Sunday, when sharing in the Scriptures about the pending Feast of Pentecost, the Lord showed how the people of Jerusalem, even the religious and those who recently murdered the Holy and Righteous One, were overwhelmingly surprised and perplexed by what God had planned all along. They expected just another usual Feast Day as if nothing had happened or would happen. The only ones who were waiting in expectation were the ones who Jesus told.

God is moving! If you not ready for what is coming next and what may have started already, then seek the things above!

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The Spirit’s Call

I don’t want to but I cannot help but want to, like Paul said,  “know Christ in the fellowship of his sufferings,  becoming like him in his death, that I also might somehow attain to the resurrection.”  I somewhat know what he means, as my soul is never satisfied unless I am united to my Lord in both, desiring even to be perfectly. I do not have a natural desire to suffer, but the Spirit of Christ within me beckons me to follow him further that I might also know him better.  Lord, I desire to do your will. My flesh resists but the Spirit calls. He leads me to the cross.

Jesus was made perfect by what he suffered. Glory to Jesus!  Keep calling Lord, that I might answer.  Jesus, I want to know you more.

 

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Tongues in Time

Being a charismatic-pentecostal Christian (and evangelical and sacramental too) who prays-speaks “in tongues”, which is synonymous with praying “in the Spirit”, I am faulting and finding myself praying less in tongues in private compared to when I am gathered in public with the Church. I love to praise and pray “in the Spirit” even sing “in the Spirit” and go back and forth between my native English and my spiritual language when praying in public as I believe I am suppose to, according to the Scriptures, as Paul suggested in 1st Corinthians 14:13-17, 27-28. But I am being convicted a little that my prayer efforts “in the Spirit” in private have been waning in comparison when they should be growing, for the Scriptures also say that when we pray in tongues, not only do we edify ourselves with God and build up our own faith, but the Spirit intercedes for us in accordance with God’s will. WOW! Why wouldn’t we earnestly desire to pray in such a way when we know for sure that such prayer is in accordance with God’s will vs. praying in the uncertainty that we might be attempting to pray in our own will? Why not use the private time with God more wisely? This gift is God’s wisdom, which is why praying in tongues is such an important time to treasure and pleasure in – one that has us praying in agreement with the heart of God and Christ, who prayed, also in a language we could understand, “not my will but thine be done, so we might be edified too. So let all be edified in both times. In public, praise and pray in tongues but with interpretation too, but in times that are private, let your tongues be set on fire for God alone!

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The Battle Within

The battle within is more important than the battle without.  When my heart, mind, and soul are right with God, I know it.  I know his peace, joy, contentment, and all in those moments, but nowadays there is a fire burning within that doesn’t allow me to settle even for all the fruit of the Spirit.  Why?  Because the fire is not quenched and the fruit is not reproductive unless I do His will!  And so because there are so many distractions both within and without, sin that so easily entangles and things that hinder, the battle goes on, and I find myself wanting to draw closer to my Lord and God who is my everything.  I know the answers are found in Him and that as I fight through all that is engaged in my heart, mind, and soul, that I will find what it is that I am looking for, which in the end is really Him, because He is my love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  It is He that I desire more than anyone and I know for sure that “that” is His will.

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Welcome

Praise the Lord Jesus and Welcome to Kingdom911.

I hope and pray that you will find this site edifying to your mind, encouraging to your heart, and  uplifting to your soul. May the Lord give you insight and revelation and inspire you through faith in Christ and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to be a glorifying and profitable servant of the Most High God and His Son Jesus Christ.

One of the reasons for putting up this site was because I felt challenged by the Lord to be more bold in my public witness and not hold anything back, also rejecting a false humility that I believe has prevented me from being who I am more fully called to be.

Another reason was because I was tired of having disjointed and disconnected social media accounts and websites, as well as thoughts on differing topics, so for management reasons of consolidation and streamlining to bring it all together somehow, I completed this task.  I hope that you will find it beneficial to your souls and service of our Lord.

Be Blessed!

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